Millennial Thinking? - sample size of one

[ChinaBuck]

About nine weeks ago a valuable employee (30 years old) of mine had to go to a series of doctors appointments right in the heat of overlapping deadlines. I told her no problem, health comes first. The rest of us just had to suck it up, no complaints from others. Tests showed that she has some sort of tumor (for privacy I will not give the details) that will require surgery. She leaves work immediately but thinks she can be back in three weeks. I said no problem. 

She gets the results and the great news is that the tumor is benign. Later we hear she had the surgery and it was successful with zero complications. But she wanted more time off. We were still quite busy, but sure, we approved another three weeks off. We follow Chinese law on paid sick time off, plus she can use remaining vacation time and compensation time for OT plus we also gave her an additional two weeks of salary. Because, like I said, she is a very valued employee. 

Then she said she needs another three weeks off to still recover physically and emotionally. Well....not really knowing the issue we said OK. That makes 9 weeks. But the (we think very gracious) compensation only covers 7 1/2 of the 9 weeks. So yesterday I asked about her return next week. Sheâ€s not happy that we didnâ€t cover the whole 9 weeks. So sheâ€s quitting. 

Am I the ***** here? (AITA In reddit-speak) We are a small company with very flexible policy so I feel we were doing our best. I say fine, good riddance. But my partner wants to encourage to stay. That is give her money. I say no. 

What say you?

[Hightop77]

A "valuable employee" is only valuable when he is there.  Did you ask her for a doctor's letter explaining why she needed the additional time off?  It could be a legit need or it could just be taking advantage.  I tend to think she is just someone who will likely have more problems in the future that she wants to take off for.  I also tend to think women are more likely to ask for more and more time off for different things than men.

[ChinaBuck]

A "valuable employee" is only valuable when he is there.  Did you ask her for a doctor's letter explaining why she needed the additional time off?  It could be a legit need or it could just be taking advantage.  I tend to think she is just someone who will likely have more problems in the future that she wants to take off for.  I also tend to think women are more likely to ask for more and more time off for different things than men.

I agree with you, you need to be in the office working to be valuable. My partner, who is a woman, is the one who is wanting her to stay, in my mind itâ€s an empathetic response because this employeeâ€s health issue was a female only issue. Her public reason is that itâ€s hard to get an excellent designer to do healthcare. Healthcare does not draw the top level designers like commercial or civic work.

[ChinaBuck]

Let me throw some chum in the water. While this lady is Chinese, but she went to architecture school in LA and ended up living there for a while. Total of 10 years.

[Hightop77]

Let me throw some chum in the water. While this lady is Chinese, but she went to architecture school in LA and ended up living there for a while. Total of 10 years.

So as an employee she was Americanized which is not necessarily a good thing.  Another problem with employees like her is they change the standards and other employees then expect the same treatment.

[zigbee]

Sounds like you tried to accommodate and offer what you could.

[lrrps21]

Let me throw some chum in the water. While this lady is Chinese, but she went to architecture school in LA and ended up living there for a while. Total of 10 years.

I'm sure you know Asian women well enough to see what's going on. She's using the 'laowai' card. Add the fact she was in CA for 10 years and you have your answer. She was milking the situation. It would not surprise me if she was looking for another job during her time away from work. Nobody simply quits a job unless another is available. It's called 'branch jumping'. 

The best thing you can do is replace her quickly. She's probably waiting for a call asking her to return. Call her bluff.

[P1tchblack]

About nine weeks ago a valuable employee (30 years old) of mine had to go to a series of doctors appointments right in the heat of overlapping deadlines. I told her no problem, health comes first. The rest of us just had to suck it up, no complaints from others. Tests showed that she has some sort of tumor (for privacy I will not give the details) that will require surgery. She leaves work immediately but thinks she can be back in three weeks. I said no problem. 

She gets the results and the great news is that the tumor is benign. Later we hear she had the surgery and it was successful with zero complications. But she wanted more time off. We were still quite busy, but sure, we approved another three weeks off. We follow Chinese law on paid sick time off, plus she can use remaining vacation time and compensation time for OT plus we also gave her an additional two weeks of salary. Because, like I said, she is a very valued employee. 

Then she said she needs another three weeks off to still recover physically and emotionally. Well....not really knowing the issue we said OK. That makes 9 weeks. But the (we think very gracious) compensation only covers 7 1/2 of the 9 weeks. So yesterday I asked about her return next week. Sheâ€s not happy that we didnâ€t cover the whole 9 weeks. So sheâ€s quitting. 

Am I the ***** here? (AITA In reddit-speak) We are a small company with very flexible policy so I feel we were doing our best. I say fine, good riddance. But my partner wants to encourage to stay. That is give her money. I say no. 

What say you?

You got through 9 busy weeks without her. Maybe she's not as valuable as you thought.

[ScarletHayes]

Coverage for 9 weeks when the policy is 7.5?  Money for nothing...  Look, sweetheart, Iâ€m trying to run a business here.  You millennials really are a hoot.

[AkronBuck]

Let me throw some chum in the water. While this lady is Chinese, but she went to architecture school in LA and ended up living there for a while. Total of 10 years.

So as an employee she was Americanized which is not necessarily a good thing.  Another problem with employees like her is they change the standards and other employees then expect the same treatment.

^^^^^ THIS ^^^^^

[BoyGenius]

What say you?

No one is irreplaceable. Move on. You were very accommodating, even nice.
If you have time, check out the best HR manual I've read...  

[ChinaBuck]

Let me throw some chum in the water. While this lady is Chinese, but she went to architecture school in LA and ended up living there for a while. Total of 10 years.

I'm sure you know Asian women well enough to see what's going on. She's using the 'laowai' card. Add the fact she was in CA for 10 years and you have your answer. She was milking the situation. It would not surprise me if she was looking for another job during her time away from work. Nobody simply quits a job unless another is available. It's called 'branch jumping'. 

The best thing you can do is replace her quickly. She's probably waiting for a call asking her to return. Call her bluff.

Most certainly she is pulling the laowai card. (For the rest of yâ€all, means stranger/foreigner). For me, Iâ€ve moved on, itâ€s my partner who is wanting her back. She probably thinks Iâ€ll fold, surprise, I wonâ€t. Iâ€ve had people leave before to go to another job, and weâ€ve actually three return when they realized life isnâ€t always greener on the other side of that fence.

[ChinaBuck]

About nine weeks ago a valuable employee (30 years old) of mine had to go to a series of doctors appointments right in the heat of overlapping deadlines. I told her no problem, health comes first. The rest of us just had to suck it up, no complaints from others. Tests showed that she has some sort of tumor (for privacy I will not give the details) that will require surgery. She leaves work immediately but thinks she can be back in three weeks. I said no problem. 

She gets the results and the great news is that the tumor is benign. Later we hear she had the surgery and it was successful with zero complications. But she wanted more time off. We were still quite busy, but sure, we approved another three weeks off. We follow Chinese law on paid sick time off, plus she can use remaining vacation time and compensation time for OT plus we also gave her an additional two weeks of salary. Because, like I said, she is a very valued employee. 

Then she said she needs another three weeks off to still recover physically and emotionally. Well....not really knowing the issue we said OK. That makes 9 weeks. But the (we think very gracious) compensation only covers 7 1/2 of the 9 weeks. So yesterday I asked about her return next week. Sheâ€s not happy that we didnâ€t cover the whole 9 weeks. So sheâ€s quitting. 

Am I the ***** here? (AITA In reddit-speak) We are a small company with very flexible policy so I feel we were doing our best. I say fine, good riddance. But my partner wants to encourage to stay. That is give her money. I say no. 

What say you?

You got through 9 busy weeks without her. Maybe she's not as valuable as you thought.

Sheâ€s talented but not that talented. My partner disagrees, but Iâ€m sensing that none of the other employees are now feeling she needs to return.

[Hightop77]

About nine weeks ago a valuable employee (30 years old) of mine had to go to a series of doctors appointments right in the heat of overlapping deadlines. I told her no problem, health comes first. The rest of us just had to suck it up, no complaints from others. Tests showed that she has some sort of tumor (for privacy I will not give the details) that will require surgery. She leaves work immediately but thinks she can be back in three weeks. I said no problem. 

She gets the results and the great news is that the tumor is benign. Later we hear she had the surgery and it was successful with zero complications. But she wanted more time off. We were still quite busy, but sure, we approved another three weeks off. We follow Chinese law on paid sick time off, plus she can use remaining vacation time and compensation time for OT plus we also gave her an additional two weeks of salary. Because, like I said, she is a very valued employee. 

Then she said she needs another three weeks off to still recover physically and emotionally. Well....not really knowing the issue we said OK. That makes 9 weeks. But the (we think very gracious) compensation only covers 7 1/2 of the 9 weeks. So yesterday I asked about her return next week. Sheâ€s not happy that we didnâ€t cover the whole 9 weeks. So sheâ€s quitting. 

Am I the ***** here? (AITA In reddit-speak) We are a small company with very flexible policy so I feel we were doing our best. I say fine, good riddance. But my partner wants to encourage to stay. That is give her money. I say no. 

What say you?

You got through 9 busy weeks without her. Maybe she's not as valuable as you thought.

Sheâ€s talented but not that talented. My partner disagrees, but Iâ€m sensing that none of the other employees are now feeling she needs to return.

That part does not surprise me at all.  The people who had to work with her knew her better than management which is often the case.

[ChinaBuck]

Coverage for 9 weeks when the policy is 7.5?  Money for nothing...  Look, sweetheart, Iâ€m trying to run a business here.  You millennials really are a hoot.

Exactly! The biz cannot make money on someone that isnâ€t around. Giving here another 1 1/2 weeks of salary is not a lot of money, but itâ€s the damn principle